Category: Random thoughts

The Indian Woman

On By Indu PatikkalIn Random thoughts, WomanLeave a comment
So much has been written about the Indian Woman. I am going to add to the foray of words, perceptions and perspectives about the Indian Woman. ‘A Woman of Substance’, ‘The Silent Endurer’ is some of the phrases attributed to her in the articles I have read. So what is the Indian Woman?

To me, she is the body wrapped adequately, sometimes more than needed, who ensures that she is awake before the family is ready for breakfast. She makes breakfast and feeds the family. She packs off her children to school and rushes to work and/or to her daily chores. Come evening, and she is teaching the children, helping them do their homework, cooking dinner for the family. She makes sure her family is fed. She is almost always the last one to sleep. During all this, she does the laundry; she gets the grocery, plans the next day’s meals, and works with the maid to keep the house neat and tidy. And, she does this day after day after day after day till her limbs stop supporting her. There are the Sonia Gandhi’s, Indira Noorie’s of the world, but those are exceptions. What I am trying to say is that the ‘normal’ Indian Woman is not Aiswarya Rai Bachchan, Sonia Gandhi or Sonam Kapoor for that matter whom the world claims to be the Indian Woman. She is the lady you will see at the grocery vendor, the lady behind the counter at a bank, the lady at school managing a group of 50 children, the lady who walks into your house every day, promptly at 7.30am to clean your house, the lady who picks up the garbage from the apartments, the lady who sells fish by the roadside to make a living for her family. She is the Indian Woman and the Woman of Substance.

It has been raining continuously in my part of the world over the past few days. The rain Gods decide to bless us right when children are set to board the bus, people are getting to work or heading out for lunch. How can I miss the getting-back-home time? As I drive back home from work in my air-conditioned car with music playing on my stereo system, probably a Rhim-Jhim-Gire-Saawan, to suit the weather, I see them. One is holding an umbrella in one hand, and in the other hand she has a bag of grocery, her heavy shoulder bag balancing on her shoulder. She is walking fast to catch the bus. There is another one on the bike holding an umbrella, while her husband tries to steer through the traffic, shielded by a raincoat, yet half-soaked. I see her finding her way, balancing her child’s school bag, umbrella, getting wet, yet protecting her child. I see them everywhere, and I realize that I am so privileged to have a car to drive back home, not soaked.

If you travel by the day trains connecting cities, you will find them; some have started from home at 5am, after preparing breakfast, lunch boxes packed. In the evening you will find them cutting vegetables on the train, to save time. She is carrying a load on her head at a construction site, while her child is playing in the gravel heaped on the side of the road. After the day’s work, she builds a makeshift fire on the footpath and cooks food for her family. Everyone on their own paths, their destinies; they have their share of problems, inadequacies, yet they go on.

How many of these women would have to submit to their husband’s physical needs by night.. Yes for the most part of India the woman still submits to the needs of the husband.
I am not a feminist. Men and Women have their own purpose to serve. But I do believe that we, women, are much stronger than men. We see so much, we endure so much, our brains are wired, not one thought is by itself, and yet we s-m-i-l-e. And we are the women of substance… You and I…

What I salute is her spirit to muster the energy to wake up, to each dawn and do what she did yesterday and the day before and the day before that; knowing what is in store for her and yet she does not give up.

PS: Yes, I will write about the Indian Man, next 🙂

Happy independence day!!

On By Indu PatikkalIn independence, Random thoughtsLeave a comment

August 15th, the day India succeeded in ending the British regime and established a democracy. A democracy which gave power to every Indian to select and elect people to power to do good for their nation. Most of them were illiterates and were unaware of the ways of the world. They chose people whom they believed would propel the country to prosperity and growth.

Sixty eight years hence people mostly illiterates and unaware of the ways of the world choose people whom they believe will propel the country towards prosperity. There has been some prosperity no doubt but largely the common man still lives with the hope that there will be a better tomorrow. There will be a set of people who will indeed steer the country towards prosperity and growth.. real prosperity and real growth.

Let me define what I exactly mean by prosperity and growth. It is definitely not measured by the number of high rise buildings that this country can build, it is not the number of people who feature on the Forbes list of richest Indians and not by the number of babies that this country produces on a daily basis.
Prosperity will be achieved when every person born in this country can afford three square meals a day; when he can build toilets in is house, when he can have a house to live in and not a shack, when the girls of this country can walk outside safely without the threat of rape.
Prosperity is when the children, all children receive basic education, they don’t have to work to feed their family, when every person can do a decent job and earn a livelihood, not clean up sewage waste.

So are we really independent? We are not independent from the perils of society like poverty, hunger, homeless, rape that we have inflicted upon us, so what exactly are we celebrating here? Is it the fact that our forefathers fought like one to establish a democracy sixty eight years ago? Well then my friend it’s a thing of the past. The British have moved on and so have our forefathers. But we are holding onto a memory to find an excuse to enjoy a holiday, hoist the tricolor and well up assumed pride at being an Indian.

I may sound a little too obstinate here but my friends in the US or outside the country who have long migrated from India send wishes of independence and a happy one at that. My friend, you are not stuck in the traffic jam every morning, driving to work, you are not waiting for the water to appear in the tap in your kitchen, you are not sweating it out waiting for electricity.. so feel happy about your independence from these pains and enjoy life. We are good without your wishes.

India should stop having any elaborate ceremonies and celebrate independence when the country has ousted poverty, hunger, homelessness and rape.

Reunions

On By Indu PatikkalIn Random thoughts1 Comment

Waiting outside the airport at the arrivals lounge is always a happy feeling. There is so much anticipation, excitement and emotions flowing in that close to thirty minute time frame.

I was waiting at the arrivals lounge this morning with my children anxiously waiting the arrival of my husband after a brief stint of two months in the USA.

During my forty five minute wait there it was interesting to note the wave of emotions on the curious faces of people waiting and tired yet excited faces walking out of the airport, laden with goods. They try to squeeze into that one inch of space between a crowd of people near the railing to catch a glimpse of the dear one. They wait and watch at each opening of those automated doors hoping that the person walking out next would be their loved one. When it is, the face lights up and calls go frantically in all directions to other waiting family members of he’s here or she’s here or they are here. Then it’s a rush towards the end of the railing. Hugs and smiles and happiness galore fill the air like no one is watching. Fathers hugging their children, spouses looking lovelorn at their better half, parents enjoying their moment of pride at the sight of their child coming back home.

Just down the road you would see the exact opposite of all these emotions at the departures. Like many of you I don’t like the idea of departure. I seldom go to drop off someone, but am always eager to pick up someone.

Happy and sad – the only two primary emotions. Everything else evolves from these…

People and bodies

On By Indu PatikkalIn Random thoughtsLeave a comment

How quickly does an individual become a body?

Bodies were transported on a train they say. A few hours back they were on that god forsaken plane taking a nap or watching a movie or having a snack. All of a sudden somebody they never knew or will ever know decided to aim a sophisticated missile at the plane, for no fault of theirs. They were not even given a chance to ask “why me?”. Nobody boarded that plane to die. They were on their way to do something, somewhere. Somebody on the other end of the journey was waiting for them. A wait that will last a lifetime and yet remain unfulfilled.

The big wigs of the world are contemplating on who dunnit? They have no idea on what the families of the people on the plane are going through. They will never know, unless somebody from their family was on that plane. Their families walk around with security and protection from the evils of the world and the irony is that these exact bigwigs are responsible for creating evil in the world.

Why do they make these missiles or any weapon that can take a life? Weapons that can cause such large scale destruction. You are not wreaking havoc on uninhabited land, you are aiming at alive and kicking people and destroying their dreams, their hopes, their future, their life.

NDTV ran an article on what a few of those on that plane were doing in life just before they got on that plane. Their stories, the people who mattered in their lives. Where they were heading and why. It’s depressing to read about their life and know that they reached the end of their journey in such haste and amidst hate of a section of individuals who don’t deserve to live.

What touched me deeply was the eleven year old boy who was travelling to his grandmother’s place leaving his mother behind in Amsterdam. He asked her before boarding the plane, what if i die? I cannot imagine the plight of the mother who probably brushed aside her son’s question thinking he was naive. Had she known or had an inkling of what would happen to her child, she would have held back her son.

There is no philosophical thought I want to add or write about here. There simply isn’t one. It’s plain life and the ruthlessness of a bunch of hooligans lead by a bigwig hiding inside his huge office probably giving directions for inventing the next weapon or planning the next murder..

Venting out

On By Indu PatikkalIn Random thoughtsLeave a comment

What do you do to vent out ? Big.. Big Question. This is one question you better have an answer to. Well let’s see what are the possible ways ?
Scream at someone – as simple as that. This is by far the easiest way to vent out. What is important here is that the person you vent out to understands this angle and therfore strives to keep it at a monologue rather than converting it to a dialogue. The moment it turns into a spat of words what gets tarnished in the process is a relationship. For some reason you got angry and took it out most likely on someone else who was no way involved in the first place.
Keep quiet – the best thing to do. But this has a negative effect, pent up emotions are like a volcano waiting to erupt. There are people I know who prefer to keep quiet, but I have not known them long enough to know if the building up of suppressed emotions has a negative effect on the long run.
Listening to music – yes, that sounds interesting. But you are not talking your thoughts, just passing the moment.
But is that it? Will passing the moment help? After all the need to vent out is an instantaneous emotion.
What am I doing to vent out? I am writing 😊.

All over a cup of coffee

On By Indu PatikkalIn Coffee, Random thoughts, TranquilityLeave a comment

A girl with packed bags waiting for someone. He arrives and she is glad. They order a coffee. Two guys worth a big screen laptop probably making music over a cup of black coffee. An old man with a relatively younger guy with a laptop sharing a few thoughts from his grey hair over hot coffee. Two girls basking in gossip and friendship waiting for their order yet in no hurry. A guy leaning over probably trying to convince the girl about something before ordering coffee. A friend and spouse walk in, tired from the chores of the day to sit down and relax over a cup of coffee. Lots of words flowing around, lots of thoughts being thought.. All over a cup of coffee..