It’s been a strenuous three months… without her. Not that I lived with her, but now that I know she is not around she lives in my thoughts more than ever. As I sit down to work, she sits there on my table in a red saree.. A light and shade photograph of her clicked by my father. She looks exactly the way I want to remember her…  happy, shy, colorful. This was probably clicked before all her troubles started, her face has a calmness that I have rarely seen in my growing years. Probably that is the reason why I chose this picture.
The toughest day in the last three months was my birthday. I was traumatized for more than a week before my birthday, dreading the fact that I wouldn’t hear the wish from the one person I have heard all my life.. Not missing a single one. When I woke up the next day I knew what it meant to overcome a hurdle in life.
Death bring a closure to voices, touch, words, expressions, emotions, sight and so many others that we treasure so greatly during a lifetime. The only thing that death livens up as it comes, is the invisible presence of the person around you. It’s not memories but the feeling that the person death took away is closer to you in spirit.
“I miss you Ma” is too small a phrase that fails to capture my emotions over the part three months. I know I will get used to it as there is no turning back time. But I want you to know that I would do anything to get back a few moments with you, as alms…

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