White trees

Have you seen white trees? I have, I hadn’t noticed their beauty in such depth until today.. when I saw them turning white. Brown “leaf-less” trees turning white, so radiant, and so much more beautiful than when they bloom in green hues. When white, each tree looks so different, as if for the first time, you are admiring the trunk and its branches alone. Bare yet brilliant! 

Today I stood out in the open and felt the snow falling on me. Like the rains, I closed my eyes, opened my mouth wide, and faced the sky. The snow flakes kissed my face ever so lightly and drenched me. They glowed like glitter on my brown fur coat. They made me cold, yet the beauty of the world around me, glorified by the flakes. 

When you go to the beach, and look out into the distant water, the horizon is so unclear. You cannot say where exactly the sea ends and the blue sky begins. That is how it is when it snows. The ground is white, the purest form of white, the sky is white. You cannot say where land ends and the sky begins. 

I haven’t seen my day so bright without a touch of the sun’s rays. I haven’t seen my night glow more on a full moon light. The sky reflects the snow from the ground, the ground reflects the brightness of the sky. As pure as an angel, as shining as the twinkle in a baby’s eyes.


I told my son ‘Did you see the white trees?’ He corrected me ‘Amma, don’t tell anyone that they are white trees, its just snow on the branches’ 🙂

Let it snow.. let it snow… let it snow. 

Roots

I belong to that section of this world, which moves from the surroundings they were born in, to distant places either for pleasure, experience, and money or for advancement of something, yet to be defined. During this move, we leave a lot behind – parents, home, family, culture, food… the list is endless. It is like uprooting a live tree and re-planting it in new soil, with the hope that its roots will attach just like it had, it will get sunshine and water, just like it used to, and it will grow with no difference. It will grow no doubt, but in an alien land, inhabited by people just like us, but who seem to belong to a different world.

Work permits, resident status, L1, H1, B1, Green card, and Citizenship will make the other side of the world accessible to you, but will it accept you? Will you be able to become a part of them? Or, will you always be made to feel that you are on alien grounds?

The proximity of acceptance from the other end depends on how much you are able to give up and adapt to their ways of life. This is one perspective. How much you can leave behind of what you were taught in your growing years, like all your other people and belongings. The sacrifice could encompass values, attitude, behavior, culture, rituals, food and a host of other things. But even after sacrificing everything and trying to be one of them, how close can you get to actually being one of them.

From another dimension, you could try to establish your roots firmly in the new soil, without any sacrifices, upholding every little thing that was dear to you back home. It is definitely no way to become one of them, but the diversity could earn their respect and classify you as a dignified stratum of Indian society on alien land.

After treading for six years on alien soil, the acceptance is much more important now to me, because of my children. I leave them at 8 in the morning, at school, at daycare, and the next time I see them is after a whole nine or ten hours. The thought that comes instantly to my mind is, are they struggling to be a part of this circus, that I have pushed them into, without their consent. Are they waiting for acceptance? Being born in the country, has naturally given them citizenship rights, but because they are born to Indian parents, would they still struggle to bridge that little gap?

Do I want them to learn to bridge the gap, or take them away to lands that are familiar to me, not so quite to them? They will be accepted no doubt, but this time around, will they be able to accept?

Would it have been better if I had not created all this confusion in the first place, if I had not pulled out the roots? But then wouldn’t I have lost the chance of seeing this part of the world in this only once lifetime? Life is again playing its game and me merely a pawn.

To all readers of my blog..

Live traffic feed has made me feel good about my blog. Earlier I thought it was just a few of my friends here who invested time in reading the words from my pen. Thank you very much for visiting my little space in this vast ocean. Your words of encouragement and criticism will help me in reforming my posts for the better.
God bless!
-Maya

Tagged

Stole this from my friend’s blog just the way she stole it from another blog 😀

LAST TIMES…
1. Last beverage: The great family nourisher – Horlicks 🙂
2. Last phone call: A bunch of people talking system enhancement.
3. Last text message from : Alerts@wishTV telling me my son’s school is closed. 🙂
4. Last song you listened to: Zoobi doobi – 3 idiots
5. Last time you cried: 2 days ago

HAVE YOU EVER…
6. Dated someone twice: Why would you?
7. Been cheated on? : No way..
8. Kissed someone & regretted it?: Naaah
9. Lost someone special? No, hope not..
10. Been depressed? Depression is good for the soul
11. Been drunk and threw up? No, I start laughing, so there’s no question of throwing up.

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Maroon
13. Yellow
14. Black
15. Orange

FIRSTS
16. Made new friends: Many times, all different places
17. Fallen out of love: hmmmm… 18. Laughed until you cried: Yes, everytime I fight with Rajumon!!
19. Met someone who changed you: Everyone I meet keeps changing me
20. Found out who your true friends were: Hmmm.. everyone is true..
21. Found out someone was talking about you: Shattered..

HAVE YOU:
22. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: No
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Everyone..
24. How many kids do you want to have: I already have 2 boys, and dont need anymore
25. Do you have any pets: No way.. I like animals only in the zoo..
26. Do you want to change your name: Already changed my last name once.
27. What did you do for your last birthday: Cut a cake with my kids and another one with friends. No more dream birthday celebrations… 😦
28.What time did you wake up today: 10.20am 😛
29. What were you doing at midnight last night:Working on a diagram on MS Visio..
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for : My kids to grow up and be free again
31. Last time you saw your father: August 10, 2009..
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Everything..
33. Most visited web page: Orkut, Gmail, TimesofIndia, Sify Movies

WHAT’S YOUR :
34. Name: Indu. Maya is my pen name.
35. Nicknames: Pats, Patikkals, Dummi, Pindu
36. Zodiac sign: The scales
37. Male or female or transgender : Female, very much..
38. Elementary: Bishop Cottons Girls School,  Bangalore
39. Colleges: Manipal Institute of Technology, Manipal
40. Hair color: Black, now going grey
41. Long or short: Long
42. Height: Not too tall :).. 5.1
43. Do you have a crush on someone? did you or do you?? How can you stop having crushes?
44. Ever been in love?? Yeah!
45. Piercings? Apart from earlobes, makes it so yucky!
46. Tattoos? Why bear that pain?
47. Righty or lefty: Right handed if not in bandage.. 🙂
48. First surgery: Appendix, at the age of 1..
49. First piercing: Ask my mom 🙂
50. First best friend: Lakshmi Harish from school – sat together from Nursery to 5th Std.
51. First sport you loved: Basketball
52. First pet : Yucks..
53. First vacation: Day trip to Belur Halebid with my parents and brother!!
54. First concert: First debate was in 10th..
55. First crush: Why do you want to know?
56. Eating: My mom’s food anyday!!
57. Drink: Sugarcane juice, anyday, anytime.
58. I’m about to: Have lunch..
60. Waiting for: its a secret now, will be out in 5 months.. no no.. I am not pregnant!

YOUR FUTURE
61. Want kids? Not any more.. have 2 boys pulling me on both sides..
62. Want to get married? “Once more ?”
63. Careers in mind? Writer

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
64. Lips or eyes: Eyes
65. Hugs or kisses: Neither!!
66. Shorter or taller: Taller
67. Older or Younger: Fun loving people..
68. Romantic or spontaneous: Morantic..
69. Nice stomach or nice arms: Aaarms 😀
70. Sensitive or loud: Not loud!!
71. Hook-up or relationship: Neither!! waste of time..
72. Trouble maker or hesitant: Both are dumb!

HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger: YUCK!
74. Lost glasses/contacts: NO.. I save them like my life.. coz I can’t see without them..
75. Been on a blind date? : No way!
76. Broken some one’s heart: YUPS
77. Had your own heart broken: NOPS 
78. Been arrested: Thats a joke!
79. Turned someone down: YUPS!YUPS!
80. Cried when someone died: YEAH!
 DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
81. Yourself: I’d like to..
82. Miracles: Only when they happen
83. God: When he does good things.
84. Love at first sight: Would a Libran do that?
85. Heaven: The only truth is the cemetary.. 🙂
86. Santa Claus: Only if I get gifts on Christmas..
87. Kiss on the first date? : Too soon..
88. Angels: Beings to placate small kids..
89. Devils: Live inside us 🙂

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? YES!!
91. Wanted to kill someone ever? : Yes, lots of people
92. Among your blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? Why complicate life?
93. Committed a blunder and regretted later? Everytime 🙂
94. Wanted to steal you friend’s boyfriend / girlfriend? : No way.. why take on someone else’s pain?

ASSOCIATE WITH SOMETHING YOU WEAR :
95. White: my sweater
96. Black: shoes
97. Red: top
98. Pink: i hate pink 

Approach to life

Came across this dialogue in a movie – aashikunnathu kitilla, kitteeyathil santhosham undavilla, santhosham tharunnathu sthiramaayittu anubhavikyaan patilla, enna ennenekkyumaay kittunathu pettannu madukem cheyyum, nammalde okke ithiriponna jeevitham ithre allae ullu.
The English translation for this is – what we hope for, we will not get, what we get, will not make us happy, what makes us happy, will not last forever, what lasts forever, becomes boring very soon 🙂
Sounds to be a sadistic approach to life. The other approach is to keep low expectations and be content with what comes your way. This approach seems to make a person happier.
Success and failure are the choices you make. Somebody said this, not me :). Similarly, the question is to be happy or not. If you want to be happy, you will, if you want to be sad, that will be your destiny. Choose well, there is only one life. Live it.. each day!!

A new beginning..

Today is the first day of January, the year, two thousand and ten. The sun seems to be shining a little brighter today, as if the sun knows that its the beginning of a year. Everything around is the same, the house looks exactly like it was yesterday night, but there is a feeling of anew. I wanted to write something today, anything, to make an entry in my blog, perhaps. Have always lived with a superstitous feeling that whatever you do on the first day of the year will reflect how the rest of the year will be. Am I writing this blog, for an inner secure feeling that I will write for the rest of the year? May be, may be not. Its a superstition, remember? 🙂
January 1st marks the birth of ‘resolutions’. What is your resolution? I will do this, I will do that, I won’t do this, I won’t do that? Keeping up resolutions, requires a lot of resolve! Definitely not for people like me :). But, I ask the question – Do you really need one? Just live each day to its fullest. After a good life is a beaded chain of each day ‘lived’.
Everyone says ‘Happy New Year’ to everyone. Everyone wishes that the other’s new year is ‘Happy’. Well, will this year be happy, that waits to be seen. Anyways, to everyone out there, here I go again ‘Happy New Year’!!