Recently, I got some relationship advice from a friend and it reads like this, “Dont think we are all equal or equipped to love the same or feel the same”.
This statement opened a lot of doors for me and I have been pondering over this for a few days.
I often wonder how this friend of mine is almost always there at the right time and right place to tap me on my shoulder and say, “wait, you need a little something”.
Honestly, this is the best piece of relationship advice I have received. It’s so true. Think of it, you can love anyone to any extent and innately you expect the other person to do the same. Whoever it is, your spouse, children, siblings, friends… But their measure of love for you is almost never the same. The age old, I love you, I love you more is surprisingly true. Understanding and accepting this imbalance keeps the balance in relationships. There is never a I-did-this-for-you-so-you-do-this-for-me in any relationship. The moment a transaction is brought in, the relationship goes downhill.
The millennials I know and hear about have such transactional relationships. There may be more freedom and space and all that but is there depth? Some of the people I know are just about themselves and “today”. What happened yesterday is of no value hence no gratitude, what will happen tomorrow will be the best thing because I am building it. Call me old school but the foundation of any person starts with his or her parents. Some of them are so full of themselves that not-equipped-to-love-the-same are ancient mythology.
It is sad but true that you as an individual are wholly and entirely responsible for yourself and yourself only. Every person around you is a support system, but not responsible for you likewise you are not responsible for them.