Is that question right – what makes people happy? Why should some “thing” make people happy? I witnessed a beautiful sunset today, the sky magically turned from a dull blue to a fireball of red and orange. That vision made me happy. But isn’t it because I was already happy that I was able to embrace the vision? A little bit of a chicken and egg?
Some “thing” or “event” can make you sad. And then you are in that state of sadness, when the situation changes you move to the next emotion. Anger, sadness, embarrassment etc are emotions triggered based on an event. Unlike these, happiness is a constant state you can achieve by looking within you. Happiness doesn’t warrant a situation, you can be simply happy. People latch on to this zen state, as I want to call it, at different stages in their life. Probably like what Buddha felt when he attained enlightenment. I don’t know. It is deep inside you, you have to find it. But once you do, all other emotions feel baseless. To put it another way, the span from feeling unhappy to the state of understanding why you are unhappy, is much shorter. It is so easy to spring back to the state of happiness.
I like to believe that babies are born with the only emotion of happiness, characterized by their first smile, until we infuse all the other emotions by the way we treat them. It took me some time, actually a long time to figure out why babies cry with anger, it because we don’t do something for them. We confuse the heck out of them. Because we have unstable minds, we pass on a slice of that instability to them. Ultimately parents are responsible for teaching their young ones all the emotions there are in the world by being the cause.
Narcissists are not born (I guess). They become that way because of their environment and what they see. I keep going back to narcissism because I have spent time trying to understand why and how someone acquires narcissistic behavior. So if you think of it, a human life begins with a state of happiness, is polluted with all other emotions and then spends years trying to get back to the center of happiness. Not everyone is dumb as me and takes this long, my bestie had this figured out way back, she is my inspiration in finding your normal and sticking to it. But I guess environmental factors like the people in your life could contribute to the prolongation of finding your center. Honestly, it’s crazy and kind of ridiculous. When I see people much older than me who haven’t found it, I chuckle. They always skip the line of happiness, and in some, I see them skipping the line and I think “fuck, you missed it again”. There must have been someone who looked at me and thought the same. But in this zen state, you don’t care about what anyone thinks. Do what feels right to you, there is nobody in this world you need to convince. And that state is “zen”!