Category: Happiness

The light of candles

On By Indu PatikkalIn birthday, celebrate, Childhood memories, Children, growing up, Happiness, life, Random thoughts, schoolLeave a comment

My earliest memory of a birthday goes back to maybe age 10, I am not quite sure. Even today I am as excited as I was as a kid. I honestly don’t know why. 

The “traditions” we followed, too heavy a word, I know, started few weeks before “the” day. My parents took my brother and I to Chellaram’s to buy a birthday dress. Chellaram’s was okay. It was the same kind of frocks, not a glamorous place. Nevertheless, the new dress was excitement enough. 

Then magic happened. 

I distinctly remember the opening of KidsKemp. When we passed by KidsKemp, there was always a Santa with white beard and red attire waving at the passersby. It was so colorful. For one of my birthdays, after much pestering (my poor parents), took us to KidsKemp. It was like the mall of today. Beautiful frocks. My jaws dropped at the sight of the colors or let’s call it glamour and glitter of the place. It is my most luxurious shopping experience memory from childhood. 

KidsKemp was a one time affair. The prices were so inflated that we had to go back to Chellaram’s the following year. 

I still manage to get or save a new dress for my birthday, every year 😊.

Each year on Jan 1st I would circle the date on the Deccan Herald and/or Malayala Manorama and/or Prajavani calendar. Big red mark, so that nobody forgot, just in case. Well, I don’t mark any calendars today, Google does that. But I kind of start reminding my family to remember to wish me. I told you at the beginning, that I was kind of.. well.. obsessed. 

Then we bought chocolates the day before to distribute at school. Oh what a privilege that was. The first period, class teacher walks in, spots you in a pretty dress, not the bottle green uniform, tells the class, “so, we have a birthday girl today.. come on class, let’s all sing for her.” As a child that was an i-am-on-top-of-the-world moment.

That morning, my mother woke me up with a very happy smile on her face saying “happy birthday Indu”.. those words echo in my mind. She did this consistently for every year I was with her on October 1st. The smile, the affection, or the love, never faded once. I long for that love today. 

Then came evening. My neighbor’s kids and us bought some crepe paper and balloons, decorated the living room and waited for my father to come. He brought the cake and candles, every year. The number of candles matched my age. The light of those candles reflected the brightness on my face or maybe it was the other way around, I don’t know. I see the same brightness in my son’s face when the candles are lit and I love seeing that delight on his face. 

I get them even now, a cake, candles and the light of the candles.

I don’t get a wish from my mother. The first ten minutes after I wake up are empty and quiet. But in some form I get her blessing and wish. I may be construing this completely in my mind, but the coincidences are too much to ignore. So I did receive special blessings today. 

As I went to college, the family traditions of cake, decorations faded. It was a treat for friends at Nilgiris Bakery, Basavanagudi for starters, ending up with MotiMahal at Mangalore during engineering days. At work too, it was a treat for friends, I still got a new dress and cake. Gifts for birthday were never a major thing. Sometimes I got, sometimes I didn’t. What I valued were the people I got to celebrate my birthday with. All of them special people, very dear to the heart.

After marriage, my husband pampered me with gifts. May not be every year, but the year’s he buys me something, they are out of this world. The best, always. These are gifts I never imagined I would get in my lifetime. 

Today was special. Friends spent an entire day preparing for the evening party. It was a double celebration, my son and I got a “happy birthday mommy and me” cake 😊.. pampered again with gifts, happiness and laughter. 

The best part was the cards my kids gave me, thanking me for the wonderful mother I am and wishing me happiness with other personal notes. The thoughts that were put in those cards, made my many many everydays’ perfect. My older one just wrote on an index card while my younger one picked out a pink flowers card, with lot of mushy words.

Grateful! This is the only feeling at the end of the day.. for family.. for friends.. for all the love.. affection.. care.. it’s a lot to be blessed with. From the childhood days of buying clothes at Chellaram’s to the extreme luxury of driving a BMW at Bentonville, life has changed seasons many times; one thing that remains unchanged are the loving people I am surrounded by year after year.. truly blessed !!

Twelve years..

On By Indu PatikkalIn birthday, celebrate, Children, growing up, Happiness, life, parenting, Random thoughtsLeave a comment

I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant. It was something I was looking forward to. I was 26. I know it’s a lot young, but back then I wanted to get married and have kids, family, house, a secure life. Other interests of exploring my life are knocking on my door now. 

So, I got pregnant and absolutely fell in love with my growing belly and the person inside. My husband pampered me and I pampered myself! When I was seven months pregnant, my husband and I got an onsite opportunity. Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking back then when I said yes. I didn’t realize it much when I took that Singapore Airlines flight from Trivandrum to Los Angeles. It’s only after I landed that it hit me, I definitely didn’t imagine that America would be that far and it would take that long to get there. Oh my! 

I walk into West Hills Hospital on September 26th at 5am and voila my little one pops out on September 27th. The labor classes, baby care classes that I took was my Bible in taking care of the little one. 

His goo goos and gaa gaas filled my days. He nestled on the shoulder in the night to a lullaby that I have sang umpteen times. We sang rhymes, danced and before I knew it, we were celebrating his first birthday. His first birthday cake was from coldstone with a Winnie the pooh theme. It had Tigers, Winnie and Piglet. We invited everyone we knew and made it a grand event. He was sort of the first kid in our circle. 

Then it was time to go to daycare, something I had been putting off by bringing my mother from India to help me. A few years into daycare and we got him his best present ever, his brother, Kevin. 

Kevin is his baby. He pampers him to no end and I love the bond they have between them. At times I feel Kevin matters more than me. And I love that thought. They have their share of fights, tantrums, touchy issues, nevertheless, they are glued to each other. 

He started school at Indianapolis. As he was getting used to it, we pulled him out and took him to India. He did his best at Chempaka, but most importantly he learnt how to make friends. He had so many of them and probably that has been the best part of his life so far. Those three years spent at Trivandrum, strengthened the foundation of the people person he is, so much so that I was known as Nitin’s mother as opposed to my name. 

School starts, the daily rigor, Christmas break, exams and more exams, and before you know it, it’s over. One year of school is done. Yeah! But when it’s his birthday I realize that he has grown by one year. 

At age 10 we moved back to Bentonville. And before I knew it he was in junior high and it’s his 12th birthday. The little one who kicked inside my belly stands tall next to me, fighting his little age related issues. 

Twelve years, summed up here in a few paragraphs, but in reality it’s been a lifetime of memories, with more to come. I long for the years gone by where he was little with no worries about assignments, how his friend treat him, exercising, soccer goals etc. Where I just had to feed him, change his diapers and he would jump around happily, unaware of the world around him. 

I thought I was done with school when I got my bachelor’s degree. Now, I know that was cakewalk. This is more difficult, learning how to be a parent. And these twelve years I have been in college, again. There are many more years till I graduate from here, and I am full of doubts, but it’s been amazing. 

Thank you sweetheart for coming into our life and making it beautiful.. happy birthday !

Onam..

On By Indu PatikkalIn Childhood memories, Happiness, life, Random thoughtsLeave a comment

Today is Thiruvonam.. my kitchen lingers with the smell of payasam.. it’s just 8am and I am already waiting for my kids to come back from school and relish their favorite paal payasam with boli.

As I sit at my dining table looking out through my kitchen window, my memories linger on the onam I have celebrated in the past. 

The very first onam I celebrated was when I was sixteen years old. My family lived in Bangalore and I am not quite sure why my mother never celebrated onam. Too late to ask her now, anyways. Our visits to kerala was during the school summer vacation and most of the time we made it for Vishu (April), but not Onam (August/September). So once I finished my 10th grade, I moved to college and this time I went to Kerala during Onam.

It was the first and best onam of my life. My cousins and I plucked flowers and put the pookalam. We made onathappan with clay. I had just bought a camera, we clicked pictures with everyone. My aunt spread out a Sadya for us and in the evening we went to our other aunts and uncles houses to relish the payasam made in their house.

It was such an innocent phase of life. Everything was simple, I just had to look good, eat well, talk a lot and have fun. 
The second or last onam I celebrated was in 2013 at Trivandrum. It had been my dream to cook and serve a Sadya for my parents. That dream came true. My parents were with me. My family put out an elaborate pookalam. We cooked the sadya and my children whole heartedly enjoyed the festivities. 

Sadly, it was my last onam with my mother. 

Then there is today. My first onam in my new house. It was around 11am, everyone dressed in traditional attire, new clothes I had bought from India. Curries for the sadya were at their last boiling race on the stove. Loud malayalam music related to onam from the Bose speakers. Friends who are like family hustling in the kitchen, grabbing ladles, arranging, cleaning up. Children running around unaware of the tension in the kitchen. A true extended family household on onam. My dream. Amidst the noise my heart paused a minute and just absorbed all the din around me to preserve and lock up in my box of memories. 

The best onam of my life !

Lets dance!

On By Indu PatikkalIn HappinessLeave a comment

What is it to dance.. to whirl away like the wind.. to shakedown all the troubles.. and to feel happy from within. Leaving all your aches and pains behind, letting down your hair and moving yourself to the rhythm and magic of music. The loudness of the music, shuts your ears to every conversation, so that you hear only the ripples of the beats. The darkness of the room, shuts your eyes to the reality of life, so that for a while you may close your eyes to the world beyond. All you hear is the laughter from friends, sharing the simple pleasures of life, like you. All you see is your friends moving to the rhythm, having a good time.
Music is made for every emotion, thanks to all the music composers. You have a song for every mood, every situation and every moment in life. Music is so much a part of life.
The numbers played last night, were not anyone’s favourite dance numbers, but the carefree friends around didn’t mind what played, as long as we were dancing and having the time of our life.
Prior to the dance, there was a magician enthralling us with his tricks. But sadly, only the kids gave him an audience, while the adults were busy satisfying their appetite. The magician expressed his sadness that he lost the crowd and was lost among the kids. Its probably the Indian culture to be engrossed in their own little thing and really not bother about the person on stage. His tricks were good, alas, nobody paid attention. I hope we paid him well.
Then there was this person serving us. He must have been in his seventies or eighties and extremely skinny. He laid down our desserts carelessly, poured wine that dripped all around, overfilled our glasses, spilled leftovers on the table. Anyone would forgive him easily and not bother about his errors on his job, owing to the fact that he was doing that job at his age. How many of us would be working at his age? Actually, how many of us would live to his age? Nobody knows what lays ahead, so while you are here, enjoy the music, let your hair down, and dance !! [At least, once in a while !!]

Fill em up!!

On By Indu PatikkalIn HappinessLeave a comment

We saw a shimmering light in the sky, as we kept looking, we saw the light grow, we kept looking. It was an odd shape in the sky, was this a new planet or were we hallucinating? Was the red wine we were gulping down our throats, creating images in our mind? But how could all of us imagine the same thing with the exact shape and dimensions? No this was something in the sky. We gazed, and gazed, until finally, we saw the full shape of the object in the sky, a crescent and blurred white.. yes.. it was the moon The clouds were probably playing a game of hide and seek with her. Me thinks, they were playing a game with us, our minds all light headed.
How many rounds of filling-up-glasses did we do? I vaguely remember. They never filled our glasses full, rather our glasses were half empty. Whichever way you see it, my mind was light, so was my heart. For a few hours, I had put down everything, as if I had shed days of thoughts, decisions, facts and figures. The only conversation I was thinking about was what the others and I was saying. And all the conversations were filled with fun and laughter. Few words and lots of laughter. Some sounded like wet wood chips crackling in the fire, some were like an engine starting up, yet some sounded like the cries of some animal. Haa haaa!! There was no particular topic we were discussing, nothing in this world really appealed to us, but we were having a conversation. The glasses emptied, filled up, err.. half-filled up again. The chill air, was playing its part in giving us goosebumps. Somebody fetched us coats so we could continue to enjoy the night. Reminds me of a song, I once learnt in my junior years of school “All I want is a room somewhere, Far away from the cold night air…” We were truly living the moment!!
Just then, we saw the shimmering light again.. there she was, playing her game again with the clouds and our minds.. We walked inside to warmth and sleep, so that our minds could rest, to wake up, to face the hurdles of life and reality.