Close the door…

At the end of the year

The doors are closing in

There is that little gap

Which will close soon

I need to

Pick my arms and legs

Lift my head

Look forward

And run

Before it closes

Yes

The finger refuses to move

What is this weight

Gluing me to the ground

I want to get up

I want to run

It’s in the mind

It’s all in the mind

Maybe there is no door

Maybe nothing is closing in

It’s probably my mind

Playing games

Stop

Stop now

Set me free

From your vicious circle of thoughts

Set me free from these bonds

From words

Let there be silence

Just silence

Quiet now

There are no arms embracing me

There never will be

Let me close the door

Maybe then

Just for a little while there will be

Solitude…!

Disabled…

If you want to group them into years

Then it’s been three years

But the loss felt each day

Is the same

Has it diminished?

Atleast by a bit?

I would know

Only when

I can believe that she’s left

On her own independent journey

To fly across the skies

To climb the the highest mountains

To run with able legs

While I go on

Emotionally

Disabled.

Seeing her..

I was walking towards the exit after my son’s sports day events. Suddenly, I saw her. She was right in front of me. In the moment of shock, I didn’t even say hello. She didn’t wait either. I saw her smile, not at me. I looked at my wife, she was smiling and saying hello. Oh my God!
After I was out of my bewilderment, I told her, “that’s her”.
“Who?”
“You were saying hello to”
“Who?”
I just looked at her to let it dawn upon her.. and it did.. faster than I thought.
“Ooooooooooh! Oh my God!!! She?? She is the beautiful one? And I knew her all along??”
And she burst into laughter. What was she laughing at?
“I never thought it would be her? I am so happy it’s her. She is not beautiful. I always had this complex that she was more beautiful than me, she is not!!!”
Women, and their silly complexes, I thought.
So I saw her, after many years. She still looked beautiful to me. In another time, in another life,  maybe…