Happiness

I am a subscriber of positivity pages on social media. Most of them tell me to find happiness within. Honestly, this concept never made sense to me. How can I find happiness within me when everyone around me was pouring sadness over me, making me sad in the process? Everyone has problems and thats what they want to talk about first. As a listener you can be easily swayed into that direction. So what is finding happiness? And how do you do it?

I just exited my forty first year of life. Maybe half-way or more than half-way through and finally I learnt what this means. It is not happiness that one should seek, but stability or equilibrium with yourself and your thoughts. Happiness simply follows. The first step is to know yourself and draw a boundary around yourself. You will not sway outside this boundary, give yourself enough room to feel your emotions, but don’t let anyone else’s emotion cross the boundary and mingle with yours. It took me a long time to know myself. I am still not there, but I know I am on my way. This path of self-identification is helping me understand who I really am.

When you don’t know yourself, you build these walls of sand around you thinking they are your boundary, but the slightest wind will crumble them. You can never be happy within these fake walls. Its days and days of pretense which you want to believe is the real thing. You cannot wake up one day and say, yes, I have no more fake walls. It takes time effort and people around you to help you get there.

Finally when you find happiness within, nobody can touch it and change its baseline. It is a state of enlightenment, maybe the first step to enlightenment. It’s been a year since I wrote the first part of this blog. At 42 I feel I have come closer to myself and found happiness sitting there warm and cozy. It’s not an easy find, it’s not an easy journey to yourself. Once found, your thoughts are elevated. Do I really need to say something here? Maybe not. Does this really impact me? Maybe not. Does anyone need my opinion? Probably not. Before saying anything you put your happiness first subconsciously and determine the course of action that doesn’t meddle with your inner equilibrium.

You finally know what you want actually let me take that back, you finally know what you don’t want. You can clearly delineate between the negative energies in your life and can manage them. You finally see that door you’ve been looking for and it’s within reach. You can run. You can be free. You can be happy.

Hello

Hello

He said

I am here

Where here, she didn’t see no one

Treading the same land

Seeing the sun as you do

She skipped jumped

Hopped

Her dream of each night

Was coming true

Could this be true

Would it finally happen

Maybe

She mused

When can I see you

The ray had got to her

Through the cloudy skies

She had waited

Days

Months now

To be held

In love

In life..

New waters

Not very often life presents you with a completely new set of choices. It retains the long and important relationships but everything else gets a reboot. The place you live in changes overnight. The building you call home changes to new walls, paint and furniture. Suddenly there are a whole set of people you meet to form new relationships. People you have never seen before, people you never knew existed until today. Your life mingles and meshes with theirs, even for a day, a few months and sometime years.

You tread new paths, intersections, turns. You are wading in new waters, swimming to new shores. All this happens just when you think that yes, now I can sit back and relax.

The most curious and aaha moment for me in this whole ordeal is meeting new people. After a few days you feel did you already know them, in another life maybe.. As you get to know people you hear their stories and are indirectly connected to a lot of people in their lives.

Change is inevitable, is a basic characteristic of life, and comes at a time when you are unprepared. But in each change when we are able to see it’s beauty, essence and it’s fitment in our life, the whole diversion makes sense.

In new waters.. I wade..

Random thoughts

In the end, what school you went to, what degrees you earned, what jobs you had makes no difference. Were you surrounded by people who love you, were you able to return that love, during this whole process were you happy is all that matters. If not, then all you are left with are meaningless numbers and letters printed on paper which can be easily torn.
The people you choose to surround you is the key. If you choose the right people, you have a chance at happiness. If the people you chose are not right but you hold the courage and wisdom to walk away, you still have a chance at happiness. But if you choose the wrong people and cannot walk away, you are screwed.
Life is precious, we don’t realize it till we near the end or see a loved one near the end. You have to see death at 15cm normal vision distance to appreciate life. It’s funny.. This whole thing called life and all the unnecessary complications we build around it..