Category: Random thoughts

Interpreting dreams..

On By Indu PatikkalIn death, Dreams, life, opinion, Random thoughts, realizationsLeave a comment

This writing is not for the faint hearted, please choose your discretion to read on.. 

I fell into the deepest sleep last night. Yet, I was awake in my dream. In my dream, I met a friend’s brother, C. I hadn’t seen him in ages. As we were exchanging pleasantries, C’s sister in law V walked in. I knew these people from my childhood days and was very fond of them. V was telling me about her martial woes and that she was separated from her husband P. C supported V and they had a farm many miles away from Bangalore,  where they did some farming, raised cattle and lived peacefully. 

After some chit chat, V said she would leave as she had to get back to their farm. As I was walking with her, I saw her drag her feet, just like my mother used to, due to her Parkinson’s. It was not V, it was my mother. I didn’t say a word, but jumped for joy as my mother had appeared before me. V wanted my number and in my excitement I forgot my phone number. She wrote down the numbers I babbled, and the handwriting was my mother’s. 

As we walked out, C was waiting for V. I hugged V and told her, “I know it’s you Ma”. V was shocked. 

I woke up.

I was shocked when I  realized that C had passed away in an accident many many years ago. 

After my mother’s passing and some reading on souls and life beyond, I firmly believe that once we pass on, we continue to hang around in invisible form. We get to meet everyone who has passed and not entered another physical form. 

So how do I interpret this dream. My mother is with C, in a happy place, being taken care of by a kind soul. C was a very kind hearted man. She came disguised so that I wouldn’t be scared. I had been longing to see her and hug her. So she came to give me a hug. 

I woke up, to hear my husband breathing beside me. I too was startled, nevertheless. But the sound of my husband’s breath was the best thing I heard this morning. It was like a reassurance that I was ok and safe.

I know it’s strange and no, I am not crazy!! Many people may not understand this, because it’s so personal. I realize I am still grieving for her, but I don’t think I will ever stop. 

All this only makes my belief stronger to hang on to life and every happiness it brings. Life is the best gift that we can get..

Prince Charming

On By Indu PatikkalIn marriage, opinion, Random thoughts, realizations, WomanLeave a comment

One of my friends today was pouring out her woes on how she is engulfed with guilt that she cannot get her arms around everything at home and work. Nothing is completed perfectly, leaving everything half baked piling up on the guilt factor.

I told her, to stop killing herself. There is only this much each person can do. And we have another person living under the same roof who is equally responsible for everything we do. The overtime we do is making up for the things that the other half so conveniently ignores.

Every girl has an image of her prince charming. She grows up with it. Its like its in her genes to form the image. Okay, atleast most girls. There are some who don’t. The unlucky few. They get married and then start forming the image of Mr. Prince. Duh! Sorry girl, too late.

I believe most girls look for the below basic qualities in her spouse –

Mr. Prince should be her best friend. This is the shortest sentence I can possible write about the person she would desire to spend her life with. A person she can talk to, to any length, about anything under the sun, with no pretense or hiding.

Mr. Prince should consider her a friend. She should be his best friend. He should be able to share everything with her. That’s when the relationship is balanced.

Mr. Prince should respect her opinion whether he likes it or not. He can disagree, she is fine with that, but he should not shove her opinion into the trash bag.

Mr. Prince should know her interests. What she likes, what she doesn’t like and stay by her at every occasion where she likes something or dislikes.. He should encourage her likes and not blame her for her dislikes.

Mr. Prince should be interested in the children they ‘produce’ (for lack of a better word) and their lives. The children should be a joint first priority and they should grow up in a happy environment.

Mr. Prince should not judge her. As Sreedevi’s character in English Vinglish says, family should not be judgemental. ‘We are in this together, come what may’. When one person starts judging the other, you are separated.

Mr. Prince should pamper her. Okay, that’s a big ask. Atleast occasionally, with flowers, with a movie, dinner, small talk or whatever her interests are.

To guys who are reading this, if you have got your cards right, your lady will treat you like a king. If you get your basics wrong, boy you are in for hell.

What if you marry the wrong Prince? You literally cannot go back and say, uh oh! sorry, you got the wrong one. I know the stylish, famous and ‘in-thing’ now is a divorce, but no! You just talk… 🙂 That is where you need to put in overtime, not to do his chores, but to make it work..

Onam..

On By Indu PatikkalIn Childhood memories, Happiness, life, Random thoughtsLeave a comment

Today is Thiruvonam.. my kitchen lingers with the smell of payasam.. it’s just 8am and I am already waiting for my kids to come back from school and relish their favorite paal payasam with boli.

As I sit at my dining table looking out through my kitchen window, my memories linger on the onam I have celebrated in the past. 

The very first onam I celebrated was when I was sixteen years old. My family lived in Bangalore and I am not quite sure why my mother never celebrated onam. Too late to ask her now, anyways. Our visits to kerala was during the school summer vacation and most of the time we made it for Vishu (April), but not Onam (August/September). So once I finished my 10th grade, I moved to college and this time I went to Kerala during Onam.

It was the first and best onam of my life. My cousins and I plucked flowers and put the pookalam. We made onathappan with clay. I had just bought a camera, we clicked pictures with everyone. My aunt spread out a Sadya for us and in the evening we went to our other aunts and uncles houses to relish the payasam made in their house.

It was such an innocent phase of life. Everything was simple, I just had to look good, eat well, talk a lot and have fun. 
The second or last onam I celebrated was in 2013 at Trivandrum. It had been my dream to cook and serve a Sadya for my parents. That dream came true. My parents were with me. My family put out an elaborate pookalam. We cooked the sadya and my children whole heartedly enjoyed the festivities. 

Sadly, it was my last onam with my mother. 

Then there is today. My first onam in my new house. It was around 11am, everyone dressed in traditional attire, new clothes I had bought from India. Curries for the sadya were at their last boiling race on the stove. Loud malayalam music related to onam from the Bose speakers. Friends who are like family hustling in the kitchen, grabbing ladles, arranging, cleaning up. Children running around unaware of the tension in the kitchen. A true extended family household on onam. My dream. Amidst the noise my heart paused a minute and just absorbed all the din around me to preserve and lock up in my box of memories. 

The best onam of my life !

Baar Baar Dekho

On By Indu PatikkalIn cinema, life, marriage, opinion, Random thoughtsLeave a comment

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Spoiler alert –

My kids and I watched Baar Baar Dekho today. After many hours we were discussing as to why the movie was titled ‘Baar Baar Dekho’ (see it many times). My older one said ‘Its because he gets to look at his life many times’. He was right, I thought.

The character Jai Varma gets many chances at life and is able to trace back to the exact point where the problems started. He can then relive his life and take the road less traveled. Lucky for him.

That was a movie and we all know that in real life we don’t get even a second chance. What is done is done, the past never comes knocking on your door, holding out a chance to relive your life.

The future, well, that’s why its called the future. Its distant and unknown.

As I put my kids to sleep today, we read a story from the Bible about how Jesus fed five thousand people with five loaves of bread. We then sang songs from the movie in chorus. I remembered to tell my older one about how my younger one was missing him, while he was out this evening. We pulled the little one’s leg, which he didn’t like and hurled some punches my way. We spoke about how you either swallow or breathe and the esophagus. This topic got my little one dozing. I strode to my older one’s bed and stroked his hair till he fell asleep.

Wow.. so much in the present.. in the now. All this must have lasted about ten minutes, but those ten minutes are precious for my little ones and me. They go to sleep with togetherness on their mind. And I, hold on to these moments, to now; because, I definitely don’t want to feel in some distant future, that I didn’t have fun with my kids in the past.

So much so, for Baar Baar Dekho.

 

Expanding horizons

On By Indu PatikkalIn Random thoughtsLeave a comment

For the last seven years, I have been blogging. As I look at the prospects of writing full time, I believe it is time to widen my horizon and so this website. mybluewaters.com

Why blue waters? It could have been any name, my name.

The best part of being at the beach as the waves touch your feet is the vast horizon in front of you. It constantly reminds me of what a tiny speck I am in the vast scheme of things, and yet the possibilities in front of me are as wide as the horizon itself.

So here’s to a new beginning.

My house

On By Indu PatikkalIn Childhood memories, Random thoughtsLeave a comment

As little girls we are obsessed with playing “house”. There is a father, a mother and children. So the pretend play starts with the family waking up, mother making breakfast, sending off the kids to school and father to office. There is a makeshift house made with bedsheets or mom’s sarees. There are toy utensils in the kitchen, made of plastic or steel or clay. The children come back from school and go to play. The father is back tired. The mother serves her family dinner in tiny plates, everyone pretends to eat and they all go to sleep.
I am sure there is hardly anyone who has not been part of the “house” drama that we have scripted as children.
I guess the seed of owning your house is sown at this stage. Or the encouragement from parents to own your dwelling. Whatever the root cause, I have carried this dream all my life. And today my dream came true, reinforcing my belief in dreams.