My friend

On By Indu PatikkalIn Childhood memoriesLeave a comment
He came into our world, because my parents were fed up of my complaint that I had no one to play. And yes he did arrive, not to play with me, but fight, till we were spanked by Ma with the red spatula from the Sumeet Mixer at home. Atleast Ma distributed them equally. From that day every chocolate bought at home was cut in between, right in between. He was always there to fight, and what a pest he was. And I always had this wrong feeling that my parents favoured him. He entered Bishop Cottons Girls for a year, after some time at a matchbox building school called St Glorious School. I enjoyed walking up there with Ma to pick him up. Then he moved on to Bishop Cotton Boys! Every marks card drew comparison, good that I did well during those years and my handwriting was way better.
He always got all the toys he wanted.. Thats how I felt then. I too got my share of toys, which I realize now. He got a Pulsar and a Santro, and the school blazer, while I cribbed. I was the older one, but he was always an equal.
Being five years younger to me, I never thought of him as a friend, but a younger sibling, until he went on to his engineering years and later. He did grow up to be an equal, a friend.
When I had my son, I came to realize what my brother meant to me, rather what I felt for him. He was like my son, or maybe, brother, or maybe friend… For all the different roles he plays, I love him dearly!!
Anand, one of my treasures for life!!

You my shadow

On By Indu PatikkalIn UnpublishedLeave a comment

I am touched
and made beautiful by you
I am held
in your arms
like no thing could touch me
I am looked at
with all the love you can give
I am loved
and made to matter so much
to you
So much that
a line of sadness
draws concern
Why am I being loved
like there is no end
Why am I being held
like the world converges
where your arms meet
around me
I ask the whys
But have no answers
You ask me the same whys
And I have no answers
Walking side by side
Till the end of the road
You my shadow
And me yours..

Turns..

On By Indu PatikkalIn Random thoughts2 Comments
And at this point the roads diverge. The journey so far with familiar faces has been memorable. Another thousand memories etched, to linger on for a lifetime. It’s time for me to make the turn and take the other route. The faces that I now see will not be there with me. They have to go down the road that leads to colorful trees and snow white winters. The road I am about to take will take me miles away, where these faces will live on in my imagination. They will make more road trips, they may play the same games, sing the same songs, share the same smiles. But I have to move on, another turn, I must make in life’s journey.

So many people I have met on this leg. Friends I have made, laughters we have shared. The night outs, clanking of glasses, gazing at the stars, lazing out till the wee hours of the morning.

My new destination is not unknown to me. Going back to known faces, roads I have traveled before. Everything is known. But I have jitters about going back. It’s like taking a piece of the puzzle putting it on a different puzzle and putting it back on the original one. The picture should look as perfect as earlier.

Will I miss this place that I once hated. Will I miss the cursing winters. Will I miss the weekend get togethers where so much time is spent on poking fun at me. Yes I will. I will miss dearly all the laughters, all the words, all the faces.

I can keep writing, but I can see the crossroad in the distance. Its just matter of time and I will be gone. I will make the turn soon. Whilst I am getting there, let me savor the talks, smiles and warmth…

The first drop of blood

On By Indu PatikkalIn UnpublishedLeave a comment

The first drop of blood drips on the floor. I see the slit clearly now. Slowly its going to fade, I know. I made the slit a few seconds ago. The blood came gushing in faster than I thought. They are dripping one by one onto the white tub. A perfect visual of white and red. Like polka dots on a white sheath. My life rolls by in front of my eyes. The mind is so calm. There is no panic today, no fear. I am ending this. It is not because of lack of anything. But simply, the urge to live. That is what I have lost completely.
I start at the beginning, and race by till the end. Which exact moment was it when I lost the urge to live. I am not sure. Maybe it was building up and finally vented out like a dormant volcano. The lava now spurting out onto my bathtub. Should I open the tap, I don’t know. I have seen it in the movies, but I don’t know. So I will just leave it at that. My eyes are closing now. Did I hear a knock? No, it cannot happen. Nobody can walk in now and spoil my perfectly laid out plan. Everyone is away somewhere or the other in this part of the world. Doing what they do everyday. But I don’t want to do it anymore. I have had my share of life. And since nobody is going to take me away, I decided to take myself away. In the fading moments of life I write ‘too dumb to live’.

Acquaintances, Friends and Loved Ones

On By Indu PatikkalIn Random thoughts2 Comments
Every person that walks into your life, comes in with a purpose. There are some who wave goodbye at the gates. You may remember them, or memory may put them on a scratch pad and erase them as time goes by. They are faces, if forgotten, would not really matter, to you and to the other person. There are lots of people like this. They don’t have a purpose for coming into your life. Acquaintances.
Then there are some who walk in, stay a while, maybe years. You share your thoughts, feelings, ideas with them. Maybe yes, maybe not. You learn some things from them. They learn some things from you. When it is time to move on, they leave. Memory may remember them for a long time, finally it fades. They too have a share in making your life a better place. They usually add an element of fun to your life. Laughter is generally the order of the day. Friends.
Then there are very few who walk into your inner circle of life. They never leave from your heart or mind or soul. Whatever you want to call it. They may move on, they may be part of your everydays. But they are on your mind all the time. You share your innermost fears, secrets with them. They come in with a definite purpose. They teach you something for sure. And you learn very easily from them, because they are closest to you. You would do anything for them, so their life is a better place because you are in it. They may not always tell you the right thing, they may just listen to you. Or laugh with you. But they always do what makes you feel comfortable. And this feeling is mutual. You would also always do things that makes them happy. They may also leave, but the heart is always fond of them. They know you, just like you know them. Loved ones.
Life needs acquaintances, friends and loved ones to strike a balance. Even if one element is missing, you lose balance.. May you have all three in life, like me. God Bless.

Yesterday and Tomorrow

On By Indu PatikkalIn TranquilityLeave a comment

आधी ज़िन्दगी कट गयी
ज़िन्दगी बनाते हुए
अब पलटकर देखती हूँ
तो सूना आसमान दिखाई दे
रेत पर बनाया होगा शायद
शायद बनाया ही नहीं
गुज़रे हुए कल पे क्या रोना
वोह कल फिर आया नहीं
आगे की ज़िन्दगी बनाने चली
पर कुछ कम दिखाई दे रही है
अँधेरे  से भरी राह है सामने
मंजिल भी अपना रास्ता ढूंढ चुकी
अकेली सी एक राह है शायद
शायद तन्हाई साथ है
यह सूरज डूब रहा है
फिर जाने उगेगा या नहीं !!