To Indian news channels !

On By Indu PatikkalIn independence, opinion, realizations, social mediaLeave a comment

Dear news channels, 

Thank you for all the reporting you do. Thanks to all the journalists who travel to extreme locations to bring the latest to the luxury of our living rooms. 

Here’s a request, please take a stand on what you feel is really big news or breaking news. Every news is not breaking news. 

Mr. Modi is trying to gather support and retaliate Pakistan’s forever infiltration of the border. There are people in freezing temperatures and meagre or close to none living conditions who are carrying weapons, pulling the trigger at the terrorist and taking a life. They are risking their life everyday, while you sit in the comfort of your newsroom and I in the comfort of my living room. Their families most likely depend on the income from these brave people who are taking the chance at having no income at all. 

If Kejriwal supports the Prime Minister or Sonia Gandhi supports him, just mention it and move on. The issue is much more serious than the soccer ball you have made out of it, kicking amongst the political parties. If a congress leader asks for proof of surgical attacks, ask him to go to hell or go fight at the border and take a video of himself for proof. 

For crime issues, just report the news, don’t become lawyers and judges and start your sidetrack investigation misleading the people. Years ago what you told us was the truth, now I don’t know if you are telling me the truth or making up stuff to increase your TRP.

Please do justice to the big responsibility the people have given you. If you don’t have anything to report just show a blank screen than distributing anything and everything you find on the way. 

Oh and please stop the nonsense that you call newsroom debates. Those are just atrocious !! People who have no first hand experience of what is happening are yapping away in a cozy room. Neither one of them gets to say anything completely anyways. You are just fueling the mindset that anyone can interfere in anyone’s life, be it as personal as a tragedy as rape. Disgusting is the word ! Nobody has a right to poke their noses into someone else’s life. Mind your own business !

If there is a surgical strike, yes that is breaking news. If there is a tragedy like an accident, yes that is breaking news. What a congressman thinks of the surgical strike is NOT breaking news. For once support the government and stop raking up anti government thoughts on people. The country is divided enough, already !

Indu Anish

Note – to the readers, if you agree please share.

The light of candles

On By Indu PatikkalIn birthday, celebrate, Childhood memories, Children, growing up, Happiness, life, Random thoughts, schoolLeave a comment

My earliest memory of a birthday goes back to maybe age 10, I am not quite sure. Even today I am as excited as I was as a kid. I honestly don’t know why. 

The “traditions” we followed, too heavy a word, I know, started few weeks before “the” day. My parents took my brother and I to Chellaram’s to buy a birthday dress. Chellaram’s was okay. It was the same kind of frocks, not a glamorous place. Nevertheless, the new dress was excitement enough. 

Then magic happened. 

I distinctly remember the opening of KidsKemp. When we passed by KidsKemp, there was always a Santa with white beard and red attire waving at the passersby. It was so colorful. For one of my birthdays, after much pestering (my poor parents), took us to KidsKemp. It was like the mall of today. Beautiful frocks. My jaws dropped at the sight of the colors or let’s call it glamour and glitter of the place. It is my most luxurious shopping experience memory from childhood. 

KidsKemp was a one time affair. The prices were so inflated that we had to go back to Chellaram’s the following year. 

I still manage to get or save a new dress for my birthday, every year 😊.

Each year on Jan 1st I would circle the date on the Deccan Herald and/or Malayala Manorama and/or Prajavani calendar. Big red mark, so that nobody forgot, just in case. Well, I don’t mark any calendars today, Google does that. But I kind of start reminding my family to remember to wish me. I told you at the beginning, that I was kind of.. well.. obsessed. 

Then we bought chocolates the day before to distribute at school. Oh what a privilege that was. The first period, class teacher walks in, spots you in a pretty dress, not the bottle green uniform, tells the class, “so, we have a birthday girl today.. come on class, let’s all sing for her.” As a child that was an i-am-on-top-of-the-world moment.

That morning, my mother woke me up with a very happy smile on her face saying “happy birthday Indu”.. those words echo in my mind. She did this consistently for every year I was with her on October 1st. The smile, the affection, or the love, never faded once. I long for that love today. 

Then came evening. My neighbor’s kids and us bought some crepe paper and balloons, decorated the living room and waited for my father to come. He brought the cake and candles, every year. The number of candles matched my age. The light of those candles reflected the brightness on my face or maybe it was the other way around, I don’t know. I see the same brightness in my son’s face when the candles are lit and I love seeing that delight on his face. 

I get them even now, a cake, candles and the light of the candles.

I don’t get a wish from my mother. The first ten minutes after I wake up are empty and quiet. But in some form I get her blessing and wish. I may be construing this completely in my mind, but the coincidences are too much to ignore. So I did receive special blessings today. 

As I went to college, the family traditions of cake, decorations faded. It was a treat for friends at Nilgiris Bakery, Basavanagudi for starters, ending up with MotiMahal at Mangalore during engineering days. At work too, it was a treat for friends, I still got a new dress and cake. Gifts for birthday were never a major thing. Sometimes I got, sometimes I didn’t. What I valued were the people I got to celebrate my birthday with. All of them special people, very dear to the heart.

After marriage, my husband pampered me with gifts. May not be every year, but the year’s he buys me something, they are out of this world. The best, always. These are gifts I never imagined I would get in my lifetime. 

Today was special. Friends spent an entire day preparing for the evening party. It was a double celebration, my son and I got a “happy birthday mommy and me” cake 😊.. pampered again with gifts, happiness and laughter. 

The best part was the cards my kids gave me, thanking me for the wonderful mother I am and wishing me happiness with other personal notes. The thoughts that were put in those cards, made my many many everydays’ perfect. My older one just wrote on an index card while my younger one picked out a pink flowers card, with lot of mushy words.

Grateful! This is the only feeling at the end of the day.. for family.. for friends.. for all the love.. affection.. care.. it’s a lot to be blessed with. From the childhood days of buying clothes at Chellaram’s to the extreme luxury of driving a BMW at Bentonville, life has changed seasons many times; one thing that remains unchanged are the loving people I am surrounded by year after year.. truly blessed !!

Twelve years..

On By Indu PatikkalIn birthday, celebrate, Children, growing up, Happiness, life, parenting, Random thoughtsLeave a comment

I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant. It was something I was looking forward to. I was 26. I know it’s a lot young, but back then I wanted to get married and have kids, family, house, a secure life. Other interests of exploring my life are knocking on my door now. 

So, I got pregnant and absolutely fell in love with my growing belly and the person inside. My husband pampered me and I pampered myself! When I was seven months pregnant, my husband and I got an onsite opportunity. Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking back then when I said yes. I didn’t realize it much when I took that Singapore Airlines flight from Trivandrum to Los Angeles. It’s only after I landed that it hit me, I definitely didn’t imagine that America would be that far and it would take that long to get there. Oh my! 

I walk into West Hills Hospital on September 26th at 5am and voila my little one pops out on September 27th. The labor classes, baby care classes that I took was my Bible in taking care of the little one. 

His goo goos and gaa gaas filled my days. He nestled on the shoulder in the night to a lullaby that I have sang umpteen times. We sang rhymes, danced and before I knew it, we were celebrating his first birthday. His first birthday cake was from coldstone with a Winnie the pooh theme. It had Tigers, Winnie and Piglet. We invited everyone we knew and made it a grand event. He was sort of the first kid in our circle. 

Then it was time to go to daycare, something I had been putting off by bringing my mother from India to help me. A few years into daycare and we got him his best present ever, his brother, Kevin. 

Kevin is his baby. He pampers him to no end and I love the bond they have between them. At times I feel Kevin matters more than me. And I love that thought. They have their share of fights, tantrums, touchy issues, nevertheless, they are glued to each other. 

He started school at Indianapolis. As he was getting used to it, we pulled him out and took him to India. He did his best at Chempaka, but most importantly he learnt how to make friends. He had so many of them and probably that has been the best part of his life so far. Those three years spent at Trivandrum, strengthened the foundation of the people person he is, so much so that I was known as Nitin’s mother as opposed to my name. 

School starts, the daily rigor, Christmas break, exams and more exams, and before you know it, it’s over. One year of school is done. Yeah! But when it’s his birthday I realize that he has grown by one year. 

At age 10 we moved back to Bentonville. And before I knew it he was in junior high and it’s his 12th birthday. The little one who kicked inside my belly stands tall next to me, fighting his little age related issues. 

Twelve years, summed up here in a few paragraphs, but in reality it’s been a lifetime of memories, with more to come. I long for the years gone by where he was little with no worries about assignments, how his friend treat him, exercising, soccer goals etc. Where I just had to feed him, change his diapers and he would jump around happily, unaware of the world around him. 

I thought I was done with school when I got my bachelor’s degree. Now, I know that was cakewalk. This is more difficult, learning how to be a parent. And these twelve years I have been in college, again. There are many more years till I graduate from here, and I am full of doubts, but it’s been amazing. 

Thank you sweetheart for coming into our life and making it beautiful.. happy birthday !

Letting go…

On By Indu PatikkalIn life, opinion, Random thoughtsLeave a comment

The toughest emotion in my perspective, is, to let go. 

As a child we cling on to that toy, that stuffed doll or the macho figure that we carry everywhere. We hold on to it for years, not because we need it,but because we cannot give it away or throw it away. We refrain from sharing and hold it close to our heart and body. As we grow up, we emotionally grow to reach a state where we give up the toy. 

When we leave the familiar environment of school, it is difficult to say bye to our friends and teachers. Tomorrow I would not wake up and wear my uniform and go to school. My uniform would just hang there reminding me of the wonderful years I spent at school. 

The same episode repeats at college. Just that this time it’s a lot harder, because by now relationships are a little deeper than school. If you live in a hostel then it’s a family you leave. All this while you have lived away from your parents, but you know you will get back there. 

The hardest, or so we think while we are there, is letting go of the person you love. This is where you learn that the harder you hang on to him or her, the more the person will distance themselves from you. All those mushy break up Hallmark cards.. Oh God!

When we get married (Indian women) we move into our husband’s house (atleast most of us). We don’t let go of our parents, but we let go of the carefree girls we were till that moment. We turn into wife, daughter in law, sister in law and what not, overnight !

Then life happens! We move to different cities, leave our comfort zones many times. Each time we resolve that, enough, this is the last time. The very next thing you know, we are packing again. The friends, community, relationships. The whole physical toll of moving is best not spoken about. Again and again, we go through this rigorous emotional tumult. But there is nothing that we can do, just let go. 

Of course, the toughest is when a person passes. I have written enough about it, so I am not delving into that again. 

Just as we get complacent, a new hurdle appears from nowhere. It takes all your emotional strength to jump the hurdle. But you have no choice, you just have to jump ! The toughest of these hurdles is letting go of something dear to your heart, like that old stuffed toy.. 

Interpreting dreams..

On By Indu PatikkalIn death, Dreams, life, opinion, Random thoughts, realizationsLeave a comment

This writing is not for the faint hearted, please choose your discretion to read on.. 

I fell into the deepest sleep last night. Yet, I was awake in my dream. In my dream, I met a friend’s brother, C. I hadn’t seen him in ages. As we were exchanging pleasantries, C’s sister in law V walked in. I knew these people from my childhood days and was very fond of them. V was telling me about her martial woes and that she was separated from her husband P. C supported V and they had a farm many miles away from Bangalore,  where they did some farming, raised cattle and lived peacefully. 

After some chit chat, V said she would leave as she had to get back to their farm. As I was walking with her, I saw her drag her feet, just like my mother used to, due to her Parkinson’s. It was not V, it was my mother. I didn’t say a word, but jumped for joy as my mother had appeared before me. V wanted my number and in my excitement I forgot my phone number. She wrote down the numbers I babbled, and the handwriting was my mother’s. 

As we walked out, C was waiting for V. I hugged V and told her, “I know it’s you Ma”. V was shocked. 

I woke up.

I was shocked when I  realized that C had passed away in an accident many many years ago. 

After my mother’s passing and some reading on souls and life beyond, I firmly believe that once we pass on, we continue to hang around in invisible form. We get to meet everyone who has passed and not entered another physical form. 

So how do I interpret this dream. My mother is with C, in a happy place, being taken care of by a kind soul. C was a very kind hearted man. She came disguised so that I wouldn’t be scared. I had been longing to see her and hug her. So she came to give me a hug. 

I woke up, to hear my husband breathing beside me. I too was startled, nevertheless. But the sound of my husband’s breath was the best thing I heard this morning. It was like a reassurance that I was ok and safe.

I know it’s strange and no, I am not crazy!! Many people may not understand this, because it’s so personal. I realize I am still grieving for her, but I don’t think I will ever stop. 

All this only makes my belief stronger to hang on to life and every happiness it brings. Life is the best gift that we can get..

Prince Charming

On By Indu PatikkalIn marriage, opinion, Random thoughts, realizations, WomanLeave a comment

One of my friends today was pouring out her woes on how she is engulfed with guilt that she cannot get her arms around everything at home and work. Nothing is completed perfectly, leaving everything half baked piling up on the guilt factor.

I told her, to stop killing herself. There is only this much each person can do. And we have another person living under the same roof who is equally responsible for everything we do. The overtime we do is making up for the things that the other half so conveniently ignores.

Every girl has an image of her prince charming. She grows up with it. Its like its in her genes to form the image. Okay, atleast most girls. There are some who don’t. The unlucky few. They get married and then start forming the image of Mr. Prince. Duh! Sorry girl, too late.

I believe most girls look for the below basic qualities in her spouse –

Mr. Prince should be her best friend. This is the shortest sentence I can possible write about the person she would desire to spend her life with. A person she can talk to, to any length, about anything under the sun, with no pretense or hiding.

Mr. Prince should consider her a friend. She should be his best friend. He should be able to share everything with her. That’s when the relationship is balanced.

Mr. Prince should respect her opinion whether he likes it or not. He can disagree, she is fine with that, but he should not shove her opinion into the trash bag.

Mr. Prince should know her interests. What she likes, what she doesn’t like and stay by her at every occasion where she likes something or dislikes.. He should encourage her likes and not blame her for her dislikes.

Mr. Prince should be interested in the children they ‘produce’ (for lack of a better word) and their lives. The children should be a joint first priority and they should grow up in a happy environment.

Mr. Prince should not judge her. As Sreedevi’s character in English Vinglish says, family should not be judgemental. ‘We are in this together, come what may’. When one person starts judging the other, you are separated.

Mr. Prince should pamper her. Okay, that’s a big ask. Atleast occasionally, with flowers, with a movie, dinner, small talk or whatever her interests are.

To guys who are reading this, if you have got your cards right, your lady will treat you like a king. If you get your basics wrong, boy you are in for hell.

What if you marry the wrong Prince? You literally cannot go back and say, uh oh! sorry, you got the wrong one. I know the stylish, famous and ‘in-thing’ now is a divorce, but no! You just talk… 🙂 That is where you need to put in overtime, not to do his chores, but to make it work..